Critics call Samuel L. Jackson's new thriller a paid holiday in the Canary Islands

Here we go then: Just Play Dead is the latest film trying to juice up the whole couples-who-crime-together formula. You might fancy it for the cast alone – Samuel L. Jackson paired with Eva Green as Jack and Nora Wolfe, a glamorous duo now facing prison after years of living off stolen cash. Their last-ditch plan? Fake their own deaths, nab the insurance, and frame Nora’s lover for murder. Oh, and Nora’s meanwhile plotting to bump off Jack herself. If you’re getting ‘tale as old as time’ vibes, yes, but with extra sun, a lot of scheming, and probably more shouting.

If you’re thinking this sounds like prime material for a glossy thriller, you’re not alone. The film’s directed by Martin Campbell, who did a tidy job with Bond back in the day (GoldenEye, Casino Royale, not so tidy with Green Lantern but most don’t hold that against him). The script’s from Dan Gordon, who wrote the criminally under-appreciated Passenger 57, plus Wyatt Earp and Rambo: Last Blood – so, a savvy hand with pulpy action. Marketing types have pitched it as "Wolf of Wall Street meets Gone Girl", which is ambitious bordering on delusional, frankly, depending who you ask.

Critical response – and some knives out

The first reviews have landed, and, honestly, the critics aren’t really buying what this one's selling. Todd Gilchrist at Variety drew the inevitable Bond comparison, arguing that Campbell can still deliver handsome production value but reckons this one feels a bit like those Tarantino knock-offs people were churning out in the late '90s. Here’s Gilchrist making the point rather more kindly than most:

"even though the catastrophic Green Lantern long ago booted Campbell out of Hollywood’s good graces — undeservedly so; the movie stinks, but it’s not his fault — he still delivers the same glossy results he did in two of the most beloved post-Connery James Bond films."

Collider suggested the film might deliver that high-gloss, amoral fun you’d get with a Wolf of Wall Street or Gone Girl mash-up, but other critics pulled faces at that idea. Travis Hopson at Punch Drunk Critics sees it as yet another writer-director pair cosplaying Quentin Tarantino (specifically, the mid-to-late 90s era when you couldn’t hurl a coconut on a film set without hitting someone trying to make 'the next Pulp Fiction… but on a boat'). Hopson wasn’t impressed by what he called ‘unfunny criminal shenanigans in the Canary Islands’, dismissing the whole exercise as a glorified paid holiday for the cast and crew. Which, fair play, if you’re going to make a mediocre movie, do it somewhere hot.

But the real stinger came from Robert Kojder over at Flickering Myth, who truly did not hold back. Apparently not even the tropical setting saves the day, unless you count Samuel L. Jackson wandering about in unbuttoned shirts as enough of a travel brochure. Here’s how Kojder wrapped things up:

"One thing is for sure, audiences won’t be playing dead sitting through Just Play Dead, but rather fast asleep. Acting out the title would make for a better alternative than watching this."

Despite all the shade, he still gave it two stars. Your mileage may vary when Just Play Dead hits cinemas later this week, rolling onto digital platforms from 1 September.

Just Play Dead arrives on streaming 1 September after its cinema run.

Who’s in this thing?

• Samuel L. Jackson as Jack Wolfe
• Eva Green as Nora Wolfe